Is Singleness Underated?

Relationships are amazing. Even the Bible says two is better than one. But does this make being single a curse? Definitely not! Been single for a while now and can tell you it’s been amazing. Here is a list of reasons to appreciate your single season.

  1. You get to find yourself as an individual. I can’t stress the importance of this. Many people have never really spent enough time being single to learn who they really are, or what they really want. When single, you get to build your standards, with no compromise. I’ve heard stories of people who question their choice of a spouse, their marriage and all, half way through life. Mostly because they started asking questions and finding themselves down the line, when all the infatuation had faded out. Take your time people. Learn about yourself; your likes, dislikes. Know what you can and cannot stand and do NOT settle for less, just to be in a relationship. Learn your purpose too. There’s much more to life than a relationship.
  2. You’ll have your time to yourself. One thing I noticed after my last relationship, was that I had more time for myself afterwards. I could now drop my phone for hours without worrying if he had texted or called. I could care more about my feelings, my growth and wants. This sounds a bit selfish, but there’s a time for everything. They’ll be a time for that but at a point when I’m more emotionally and mentally ready and also in a genuine and purposeful relationship. Any other thing is a waste of time I could spend growing as me and just me alone.
  3. Grow and learn objectively. I see singleness as a ‘preparatory time’. I mean, we ask God for a long list of things we want in someone, but spend less time preparing ourselves to be same for someone else. Don’t waste your singleness! I tell you. Use that time to listen to people in relationships, divorced people and even your parents. Read books. Learn from 5he mistakes of others and learn about your self. You are an entire world and you can’t bring someone into that when you haven’t figured out some essential things about yourself. If you down, you are laying a foundation for confusion and unnecessary expectations.
  4. Lesser responsibilities. This is a selfish one but it’s TRUE ^_^. responsibilities are great, but only when you are ready for it. Every gift comes with a sort of responsibility and its important to understand that before getting into one.
  5. Learning to enjoy your company. Can you be alone and be okay? Can you take yourself out and have a good time? Can you process your thoughts alone and learn from your mistakes? If not, you really shouldn’t be in a relationship. If not, you’ll find yourself placing so much burden on a human being like yourself. Your expectation levels may be too high if you get into a relationship . Note, no one can be your joy or happiness. Go into a relationship with a mind to give and not to receive and to truly develop this mind, you need time.
  6. Focus on friendships and community. Friendships are also important people. Friendships have been underatwd. When you are single, you can spend all the time with your friends and in a community. You can hangout more freely. Friendships help you find yourself (when in the right ones) and communities help you learn so much faster. A person who exposes themselves to communities and friendships will be naturally more refined and patient when in a relationship.
  7. Single mind before God. Finally! Being single helps you devote yourself wholly to God and keep you from making a god out of a human being. Some things you can’t see if already in a relationship. It’s easier living a life after God and not a man or woman if you’ve spent time building that sort of relationship with God on your own.

This post in no way underestimates the importance of relationships. They are beautiful when done right and at the right time. Celebrating Valentine’s day with a partner is cool, but celebrating it single is cooler and necessary for some.

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