‘Live wild, go hard and hold nothing back’ are words we hear a lot. True, to an extent. Life is short and we must make the most out of it. However, where do we draw the lines and should we draw any lines?

Abstinence is ‘that topic’ no one really wants to talk about and many see it as being old fashioned. What is abstinence though ? It can be defined as “the practice of restraining oneself from indulging in something, typically alcohol or sex” (Oxford learners dictionary). Why would anyone want to abstain from something pleasurable though ? Are there benefits in abstinence ? Or is it simply a religious practice with no real impact? Below are some reasons to consider before voting down abstinence .

Firstly, abstinence helps you keep your mind clear in view of a long term relationship. It may sound bizarre and unnecessary but you will never know until you try. Sex can prevent or hinder us from paying attention to things we ought to see like a persons character or personality. No matter how physically attracted you are to a person, you must put all that aside to see if you can actually spend a lifetime with him or her under the same roof. Are you best friends? You ought to see yourself as best friends with a ‘to be’ life partner, putting sex completely aside. If it is the sex that bonds you, you may not stay ‘bonded’ for too long.

Are you best friends or just sexual partners ?

Secondly, abstinence as we all know it keeps you from those sexually transmitted diseases no one really wants to talk about. Using condoms, pills and other contraceptives does not provide 100% protection. Truth is abstinence is the safest and truest way to protect yourself. You will be at a lesser risk of contracting gonorrhea, hepatitis, HIV or even getting pregnant or getting someone pregnant.

On the spiritual side, abstinence helps to keep your mind, soul and spirit together as you are not constantly giving the ‘innermost’ part of yourself to others. Personally, I find that I have more confidence in who I am, on my own and in the midst of others and feel less of a need to find someone to ‘pleas’ me as I have trained my mind and body to hold itself. One can see it as a door, once opened, its almost impossible to close (though still very possible). So you can chose to keep it closed until there is someone to satisfy that need in the safest way possible.

More so, it is not impossible to say no to a desire. There is a quote in the Bible in Proverbs 25:28 that says “Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control”. This applies to every area of life. We choose to live life as we can, but we do not choose the consequences that follow. We should thus live free but with lines drawn.

Finally, you do not NEED loads of alcohol and an active sex life to feel alive and young contrary to popular opinion. Take your time to learn about and find yourself and have a life outside these. They are good things too! But believe me, safer and better when done the right way and taken in the right quantity (alcohol) . As a disclaimer, this post is not to tell you how to live your life but to inform you on the benefits of making particular choices.


I am a graduate of Law and French Language from Swansea University, United Kingdom. I have always loved writing, researching, adventure and learning. I am bilingual and appreciate a multicultural environment. I have a heart for development work and human rights.

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